I decided to make a top ten list on the reasons men should not have sex. You can find plenty of articles that give you reasons to have sex, but not many telling you to not have sex. This is a funny paper and I think anyone who reads it will laugh at least once. Below are reasons nine and ten. To read the rest you will have to follow the link above (plus there is a picture of Lindsay Lohan).
# 10: It is immoral
Sex for any other reason than to procreate is improper and a crime against nature. Humans are the only mammals that have sex for pleasure. Animals only have sex to procreate. Sex is the consequence of lust, and lust is a sin the Devil created to bring us pain and suffering. You lust after a woman, have sex with her, and then die becoming Satan's sex slave in Hell, where he will have sex with you, like a rabbit hung like an elephant, for all eternity. It does not matter if your faith believes this way or not, it is the truth.
#9: It is Addictive
Sex is highly addictive, and extremely dangerous. Addictions are not fun, they make you do crazy things that you would not do under normal circumstances. When you become addicted to sex, you will do anything to get it. You even will rob and steal to get money to pay for sex. When stealing no longer works, you will resort to rape and rape is a serious crime. You will be thrown into prison, where you will be raped every day, for at least the next 10 years of your life, as you serve your minimum sentence. (In prison, they do not use lubrication and you will likely have multiple partners.)
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